jinki aankhon me dekhte hi sukoon aa jaye,
aanchal jo bichha de woh to neend aa jaye...
chhoti si galti bhi maaf nahin karta zamana
unki kokh mein to haiwaan bhi paak ho jaye...
kyon mitti se banate ho but poojne ke liye,
inke aanchal mein to puri kaynaat kho jaye...
jhukte nahin jo aankhein kabhi kisike saamne,
maa dikhe to pal mein unka sir bhi jhuk jaye....
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Afroz's amazing improvisation on the metre and the over all presentation:
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inki aa.nkhe.n dekhte hi sukoon aa jaye,
aanchal ye bichha de to nee.nd aa jaye...
choti si khata maaf karta nahi.n zamana
inki kokh mein haiwaan bhi paak ho jaye...
kyon mitti ke bana ke but pooje hum
inke aanchal mein jab kaainaat kho jaye...
"AINA" jhuki naa aankhein rab ke saamne,
maa.N dikhe kahin to ye sar bhi jhuk jaye....
MAA... kabhi ma se alag nahi hui but itna janti hun ki unki god me sone ki aaj bhi badi icha hoti hai!
ReplyDeletelast ki do lines sach me awesome hain! yaar dekho poem likhna to door mujhe to comment ke liye shabd nahi milte!
Technically:: A Ghazal.. not perfect but very near toi perfect
ReplyDeleteAs a Reader.....
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keep writing:)
hmmm behatareen ghazal.Maa ko likhi hai...to har lafz khoobsoorat lag raha hai.
ReplyDeleteAfroz ne changes kiye hain achhe hain magar tera tareeka likhne ka alag hai..woh bana rahe to zyada achha hai
Maa shabd ki bahut hi khubsurat vyakhaya ki hai aapne.
ReplyDelete